Get Your Free Book! Learn MoreGet My Book Today

Sometimes my dogs drive me freaking crazy

COVID-19 Shelter In Place Day Twenty-six

If you know me at all, you know I love my furry friends.

But sometimes they drive me bat-shit crazy.

Yesterday, a guy was over setting up my new Internet (yeah, I finally have another option besides satellite – no more data caps for me).

Of course, this guy had to come into the house.

My current pack of dogs (and yes, I have a pack) are all pretty laid back and friendly. I don’t know how they’d act if I wasn’t home but when I am they’re cool.

So, I asked the guy if he was scared of dogs and he said no. He came in the house and my hound, Sassy, started barking.

It wasn’t a friendly, “Hey, how you doing?” bark. So, I grabbed her and locked her in the master bedroom.

She was in there for about 30 minutes, barking and carrying on.

When the guy left, I opened the door to the master bedroom and just stood there as Sassy happily sauntered past me — tail up, proud and with a spring in her step.

She’d peed on the bed and not just a dribble or even one puddle.

Streaks of urine.

Lines of it from one end of the bed to the other.

Apparently, she’d run all over the California King pissing away.

Luckily (I can’t believe I can even use this word in this story), I keep a plastic cover under the sheet for “accidents” like this.

(I don’t really think this was an accident. I think she was mad about being locked up and decided to show me.)

Look at this face. She’s never sorry for anything except getting caught.

She’s been trouble in a cute package since the day I found her and put her in my car, like some weird dog-kidnapper. (I did try and find her home but had no luck.)

This picture was taken a few years earlier but I know, she wasn’t sorry today. Not at all.

I tore everything off the bed, cleaned the plastic sheeting and the floor where she’d also peed and then went into my master bathroom to wash up.

Again. Me. Dead in my tracks.

Sassy had gotten into the litter box in the bathroom and she must’ve dug because there was litter strewn all over the bathroom floor.

And I mean all over.

But she wasn’t done.

Oh, no.

After tossing litter all over the place, she’d gone to the rug that’s outside of my shower and pooped and she didn’t just poop on the rug. Oh no, that would’ve been too mundane for the crime of locking her alone in a room.

She somehow managed to poop on the rug, in my shower and smeared it on the ledge that you step over to get into my shower.

I went into the kitchen to get the cleaning supplies – again — and made sure to send her some pretty dirty looks. She did have the decency to look a little guilty, but nowhere near enough sooth my temper.

When all the messes were cleaned up, I took the four dogs outside for their walk and then came back in to feed them.

I went into the kitchen and got their dinner ready. This took about 5-10 minutes. Remember, we’d just gone on a twenty minute walk.

I went back into the living room and Tricks, my Belgian Malnois,

who’s about fifteen had pooped all over her bed.

I still love them (I think. No, I do. Really, I do) but sometimes I really don’t know why.

6 Comments

  1. Rosemary Pollock says:

    OMG. You know, when you have animals, you forgive them for all these transgressions. Sassy was paying you back for locking her in the bathroom. Dogs do know when to give pay back. Is she a beagle or a beagle cross? I have a friend, Gail, who has a beautiful home on the lake that looks like it came out of a Home and Garden magazine. In fact, it has been featured in a Canadian decorating magazine. Her dogs, Pomeranians, often peed in her husband’s slippers. Jim would have a fit when he stepped into wet pee. But they love those dogs. I too have to keep my eye out for little gifts left in odd spots around the house. But we love them anyway.

    1. Linda Odea says:

      Hi Rosemary,

      Yes, we certainly do love them – those fuzzy jerks. 🙂 I love that your friend’s dogs only peed in his slippers. lol. They can be like that.

      I’m not sure what Sassy is. I don’t think beagle. She’s about 75 pounds. I think she’s part Walker hound and I’m almost positive she has some Blue and Red Tick hound in her from her speckles.
      Take care
      Linda

  2. Dawn Cavender says:

    I have a min pin who is puppy pad trained. She’ll be 2 years old in September. We recently moved into my late mother’s house. And Mandy (my dog) has peed on our bed 3 or 4 times and pooped on it once. Mind you , this is the same bed we’ve had for years and she has slept in with us since bringing her home as a puppy. Now she is no longer allowed in our room. She was the runt of the litter and she’s still tiny. All of her brothers and sisters have outgrown her, including the last litter that is only about 3 months old. My husband would get on to me for getting on to her for doing something she’s not supposed to do, ( like shred toilet paper or get on the end tables or coffee table). He kept telling me that she was too little. But I finally convinced him that yes she is little but unless she learns right from wrong at an early age, then we would never break her. So now , just like with our human kids, I am the disciplinarian of the house. I’ll get on to her, and she will run and hide behind him. Lol. Oh and the toilet paper thing. She only shreds unused toilet paper. She has never gotten into the trash . Just a roll of toilet paper that we keep in the bedroom for blowing noses. One time she did get into a box of tissues that I had on an end table in the living room. I guess the bright side of her getting clean unused toilet paper is just that it’s clean and not used.

    1. Linda Odea says:

      I love that you’re the disciplinarian. A lot of guys seem all tough but have the hearts of marsh-mellows. That’s what makes them great. )

  3. Sherri Howard says:

    Oh goodness, that was a rough day. But I want to tell you that dogs have not cornered the market on revenge. We are accidentally in the cat rescue business and let me tell you, they can do pay backs. They find places to per that you can’t find unless you really hunt. Stinkers. Very spoiled and well loved stinkers.😅

    1. Linda Odea says:

      I absolutely agree. And cat pee is so much worse smelling than dog pee. None of it smells good but cat pee is a special kind of potent. LOL. You’re a lovely person for being in the cat rescue business. There are so many of them that need homes. I have seven – all were strays. take care.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.